Jesus Christ Arrested For Aggravated Robbery – No Seriously

June 25, 2012 at 9:55 am (Aggravated Robbery, Anthony Turner, Houston, Jesus Christ, Robbery, Texas)

A jailhouse in Houston, Texas had a very unusual booking this past week – Jesus Christ himself was charged with aggravated robbery for brandishing a gun whilst cleaning out another man’s pockets.

Apparently, the Commandment, thou shalt not steal, wasn’t adhered to in this case.

From KHOU in Houston:

The jailhouse had an unexpected visitor this week: Jesus Christ was arrested for aggravated robbery.

Jesus Christ Anthony Turner, that is.

Turner, a 27-year-old Houston man with a highly unusual moniker, was arrested Monday in connection with a robbery on June 16, 2012.

According to court documents, Turner was armed with a gun when he robbed another man.

Charges were filed Tuesday, and Turner was still being held Thursday without bond.

Why do I get the feeling that he just officially changed his name after hearing his mother constantly referring to him as “Jesus Christ Anthony Turner” over the years?

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U.S. Marine Plugs Own Bullet Wounds With His Fingers

December 28, 2011 at 12:55 pm (Daily Mail, Karl Trenker, Marines, Robbery)

And this, ladies and gentleman, is just another demonstration of how United States Marines are BAD ASS.

Via the Daily Mail:

A U.S. Marine officer has told the incredible story of how he survived a street robbery by plugging bullet holes in his body with his fingers.


Lieutenant Colonel Karl Trenker, 29, of Miramar, Florida, was shot three times as he confronted two men who had stolen a gold chain from him.


He said he used his battlefield training from Afghanistan and Iraq to stem blood from chest wounds by shoving his finger into the gaping wound.


He added:

‘I put my fingers in the holes to stop the bleeding and ran back to the truck and told my kids I had been shot, but not to worry.’


The armed assailants have been arrested and now face attempted murder charges.

Lieutenant Colonel Karl Trenker – Calm in the face of fire…

Read the rest

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