Top 5 Reasons Romney Would Beat Obama in a Fistfight

September 15, 2012 at 10:17 am (Bully, Coretta, Fist Fight, Michelle Obama, Mitt Romney, Mom Jeans, President Obama, Sky Blu, Skylar Gordy, Tough, Wimp Factor)

At first blush, this might seem like a gratuitous post.  A post designed to lure in readers with its over the top rhetoric and a forced analysis of a ridiculous and fictitious scenario. A sensationalizing of the campaign battle by literally determining who could win a knock down, drag ’em out fight.

And you’d be right.  (We need readers)

But it’s also a response to a recent poll conducted by the Yahoo!/Esquire Langer group in which, for some reason they decided to ask likely voters which of the two candidates would win in a fistfight.

It wasn’t even a close contest:

Well we’re here to tell you exactly why you should be betting on the underdog in this fight.  Romney would take Obama in a schoolyard brawl in a New York minute.
Here’s the top five reasons why…
5)  Media Complains Romney Too Tough

Even the media agrees, when it comes to dealing with dictators trying to build a nuclear weapons program, Mitt Romney is the one candidate who delivers the beat down.  During a weekend-long visit to Israel in July, media outlets were in awe of Romney’s toughness.  Here is a sampling:

Reuters:  Romney talks tough on Iran during visit to Israel

Miami Herald:   In Israel, Romney talks tough against Iran

CNN:  Romney talks tough on Iran

Los Angeles Times:  Romney takes hard line on Iran in Israel speech

Meanwhile, Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post writes that Obama’s weak policies, and his ‘sloth and foolishness’ could lead to a nuclear-armed Iran.

Smacking down the world’s dictators?  Plus one for Romney…

4)  Obama’s First Documented Fight – A Schoolgirl

In his book, Dreams From My Father, Barack Obama admits to having to get all rough and tumble with a school girl classmate of his.  Seems teasing that she may have been a girlfriend of Obama’s was too much to bear, so the future President did the only thing he could – he roughed her up.

“Before my arrival she had been the only black person in our grade. She was plump and dark and didn’t seem to have many friends. I ran up to Coretta and gave her a slight shove. She staggered back and looked up at me, but still said nothing. ‘Leave me alone,’ I shouted again. And suddenly Coretta was running, faster and faster until she disappeared from sight. Appreciative laughs rose around me.

While this in itself might not give an advantage to Romney, it certainly takes away from the President’s street cred.  Having to resort to bullying little girls never appears tough.

3)  President Mom Jeans

Nothing says rugged individual quite like showing up on a professional baseball diamond sporting an outfit featuring mom jeans, and a throwing motion that looks like this:

I’m not actually sure which is worse for his tough guy image, the jeans or the fact that his throwing motion looks eerily similar to this…
2)  Even the First Lady is in Better Shape Than Barack

When it comes to a training regimen for preparing for the fight, the President is noticeably lacking in discipline.  In an interview with People Magazine, Michelle Obama reveals that she and Barack don’t take themselves too seriously at the gym, each whining about doing their push-ups, each trying to get out of them.  
Then there was this statement by the First Lady:

When asked if they compete athletically, she replies: ‘Not anymore, because I’m in way better shape than he is.’

Well, that would explain how she managed to get him to hang the curtains in the White House…
1)  Mitt Romney Takes Down Hip Hop Artist

When it comes to a fistfight, Governor Romney might have the ultimate secret weapon – the vulcan death grip.  Lest we forget this altercation in 2010:
Mitt Romney was involved in a physical altercation with rapper Sky Blu aboard an Air Canada flight heading from Vancouver to Los Angeles.
While the Republican’s spokesman claimed that Romney had been assaulted by a hostile passenger, the rapper (whose real name is Skyler Gordy) claimed he was actually the victim.  Gordy, a member of the group LMFAO (of I’m Sexy and I Know It fame) said, “He put a condor grip on me – what am I supposed to do?”  His band-mate chimed in with, “that’s like a Vulcan grip.”

Granted, rappers using the phrases ‘condor’ or ‘vulcan grip’ may call into question their own street cred, the fact remains that Romney has this move in his arsenal – and he’s not afraid to use it.


All in all, Mitt Romney clearly has the chops to take down President Obama.  And if the above list isn’t enough to convince you, we provide this visual representation…

We don’t think Romney’s going to be losing any sleep over this one.

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Newsweek Calls Romney a Wimp, Seemingly Forgetting Who is Currently in Office

July 30, 2012 at 7:00 am (George H. W. Bush, Media, Michael Tomasky, Mitt Romney, Newsweek, President Bush, President Obama, Wimp Factor)

Newsweek has hearkened back to their old school liberal days, replicating a cover story in 1987 which referred to then President George H. W. Bush’s “wimp factor”; except this time it was meant for Republican nominee Mitt Romney.

Ed Driscoll writes:

In 1987, we were asked by Newsweek to believe that a World War II Navy fighter pilot and former CIA head was too much of a “wimp” to be president. Today, the W-word seems very much at odds with the image that Obama had been attempting to paint of Romney as a Gordon Gekko-esque corporate raider. Additionally, the subtext of the article asks, “Is he just too insecure to be president?”

The Newsweek article, written by Michael Tomasky, makes the case: 

He’s kind of lame, and he’s really … annoying. He keeps saying these … things, these incredibly off-key things. Then he apologizes immediately—with all the sincerity of a hostage. Or maybe he doesn’t: sometimes he whines about the subsequent attacks on him. But the one thing he never does? Man up, double down, take his lumps.

In 1987, this magazine created a famous hubbub by labeling George H.W. Bush a “wimp” on its cover. “The Wimp Factor.” Huge stir. And not entirely fair—the guy had been an aviator in the war, the big war, the good war, and he was even shot down out over the Pacific, cockpit drenched in smoke and fumes, at an age (20) when in most states he couldn’t even legally drink a beer. In hindsight, Poppy looks like Dirty Harry Callahan compared with Romney, who spent his war (Vietnam) in—ready?—Paris. Where he learned … French. Up to his eyeballs in deferments. Where Reagan saddled up a horse with the masculine name of El Alamein, Mitt saddles up something called Rafalca—except that he doesn’t even really do that, his wife does (dressage). And speaking of Ann—did you notice that she was the one driving the Jet Ski on their recent vacation, while Mitt rode on the back, hanging on, as Paul Begala put it to me last week, “like a helpless papoose”?

The ‘wimp’ attack is sure to make little headway as it did against President Bush back in ’87, since Newsweek isn’t even a fraction of the media powerhouse it once was.

And the Romney campaign isn’t sweating it either, with a spokesman telling the Mental Recession that it’s “not relevant, considering the source”.

The spokesman added, “No one but out of touch liberals care.”

The timing of the ‘wimp factor’ story for Newsweek couldn’t be any worse.  The rest of the mainstream media has been referring to Romney as too tough on Iran during his weekend visit to Israel.

Reuters:  Romney talks tough on Iran during visit to Israel

Miami Herald:   In Israel, Romney talks tough against Iran

CNN:  Romney talks tough on Iran

Los Angeles Times:  Romney takes hard line on Iran in Israel speech

Not to mention as we reported here earlier, the Daily Caller has revealed that President Obama’s gusty call on Osama bin Laden proved to be anything but.  The waffling on pulling the trigger could be considered … well … wimpy.

Perhaps Newsweek is also forgetting that this man is the one currently in office…

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